The Missing Piece: “Selling With”

Selling With by Nate Nasralla

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been writing about some of my favorite, most influential, and impactful sales books—ones that have truly shaped how I sell, coach, and think about sales.

"Selling With" is the newest book on my list, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Published in 2023 by Nate Nasralla, I devoured it after a former colleague—who happened to be the former VP of Sales for The Challenger Sale—recommended it to me.

Just 27 pages in, I had already found immense value and felt like I finally discovered the missing piece I didn’t even realize I was looking for. After reading Selling With, I immediately evolved the way I practiced and taught sales. It wasn’t a drastic shift but rather a simple, thoughtful, and highly effective addition to my approach.

The Hard Truth: Decisions Happen Without Us

I’m not sure if it was my ego or my desperate desire to believe that we, as sellers, have more influence and control over the buying process than we actually do. But this book made it painfully clear: decisions are made behind closed doors that we’re not a part of. Period.

That realization was sobering but also freeing. Instead of trying to force control, we need to equip our buyers to sell better on our behalf. That begins by:

1. Aligning the stakeholder group on the problem first through a 1-page business case

2. Guiding them toward a shared understanding of the best way to solve that problem.

A Seamless Fit with My Ideal Sales Process

What I love most about Selling With is that it doesn’t contradict what I already believe—it fills in the gaps of an effective sales process. Prior to reading this book, I taught and practiced a structured sales process that worked well if executed properly. After reading it, my process didn’t change dramatically—but it deepened. It became less about selling the solution and more about building the internal business case alongside the buyer.

Before:

• The traditional sales process felt solid but lacked depth in how buyers made decisions internally.

After:

• The sales process became about building the business case, not just selling the product or service.

In the past, I treated the Business Case as a proposal-stage artifact. Nate flipped that on its head—making it a living tool that’s introduced early and refined along the way, helping stakeholders better understand and champion the problem they’re solving.

Sales Time vs. Buyer Time

One of the most powerful insights from the book is this:

While our sales cycles can span weeks or months, buyers often spend just a few hours actually focused on our solution.

They’re not living and breathing this the way we are—they have competing priorities and internal politics. That’s why it’s on us to equip them to carry the conversation forward when we’re not in the room.

That’s how we earn more mindshare, more momentum, and more closed deals.

Final Thought

Selling With helped me uncover blind spots in even a well-defined sales process. If your team is losing deals late or struggling to build internal alignment, it might be time to ask: Does our process reflect how buying decisions actually get made?

Want to Assess Your Sales Process?

The Revenue Compass Assessment: 25 questions to pinpoint strengths and uncover bottlenecks in your sales strategy, process, and structure.

Go Deeper:

• The Challenger Sale: The Overlooked Lesson 

• The Challenger Customer: The Overlooked Lesson

• Mastering Stakeholder Guidance for Sales Success

• A Repeatable & Effective Sales Process: The Path to Scalable Success

• Take Control of the Sale

Or check out my new book: Beyond the Founder Rainmaker - Build Your Blue Chip Sales Strategy